A Hero No More
by Fynbos Fox
Summary: After having his powers and memories sealed, Ichigo Kurosaki must hide the fact that he still remembers everything, including those who betrayed him. Can he overcome the darkness that is taking over his soul or will he fall to something darker? Rated T just in case.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Heya! So this is my first fanfic ever so please be gentle and take it easy on the flames! I'm gonna try to update as soon as I can but school is starting soon so don't expect too much. Read and Review pretty please!**

Golden brown eyes flicked open as the first rays of sunlight creeped along the bed. Ichigo dragged his hand through his sleep-ruffled orange hair, the long tresses just brushing his shoulders. His previously peaceful face now wore a shadow of his signature scowl, his eyes were void of their usual strength and intensity. With a weary sigh, Ichigo Kurosaki, former substitute Soul Reaper and savior of the Soul Society stood up and got ready for another day as a normal senior at Karakura High School.

After the usual morning antics, Ichigo hefted his bag over his shoulder, he flinched as the ever-present pain in his body flared and then subsided again. He sighed and left the house, oblivious to the worried stares from his sisters and father.

"Dad, isn't there something you can say to make them give him back his powers and memories?"asked a worried Yuzu. Isshin Kurosaki looked at his daughters and shook his head sadly,"There is nothing I can do, I dont have a say in what goes on in the Soul Society anymore, I gave up being a captain along time ago."

Karin watched as her usually happy-go-lucky father stared after the empty shell that used to be her big brother. Suddenly Isshin growled and punched the wall, "Stupid, cowardly bastards!"

Ichigo sighed for the hundredth time that morning, he sat alone on the roof trying to eat the lunch Yuzu had made for him. He grit his teeth in frustration as he watched his former teammates fight a hollow that had proven quite difficult to kill. He hated being powerless or more specifically, unable to use his powers. Unknown to his friends, Ichigo's power and memory was still there, a vast, endless, writhing sea of spirit energy that ached to be released. The only problem was that whatever the Soul Society used to seal both his memory and power was now blocking Ichigo from accessing the bottomless ocean of energy that resided within him, but what angered Ichigo the most was that he could no longer communicate with the spirits that inhabited his soul, it felt like a huge part of himself was missing or numb ... disconnected, but Ichigo was certain that Zangetsu and his hollow were still there. How did he know? Simple... he could hear them screaming. Screaming in rage, screaming in frustration, screaming in pain, the pain of having their soul torn apart just to satisfy the suspicious, insecure bastards that governed the Soul Society. The pain of seeing their "friends", the ones they gave their lives to protect, the ones they gained their strength for, turn against them.

Ichigo clenched his fist as the constant waves of pain that flowed from his soul intensified, he hunched over as he tried to regulate his breathing._ No! I refuse to have a fit now!_ After a few minutes, the pain subsided to barely managable levels and Ichigo rose to return to class, the gang had managed to kill the hollow and Ichigo couldn't help feeling disapointed. In the beginning Ichigo had been shocked by the dark thoughts and feelings he had begun to experience, often he found himself thinking of ways to get revenge on the ones who did this to him, eventually he realised that his mental health was being affected by his damaged soul and the pain that was his constant companion. Ichigo only hoped that those around him wouldn't notice but the chances of that happening were slim simply because of the fact that he had distanced himself from his friends and family, he could no longer bring himself to be friendly, he was too busy trying to keep his mind from fragmenting.

Ichigo decided to pay a visit to Urahara, maybe he had found a way to reverse the seal on his power. _Doubtful_, thought Ichigo with scorn.

Ichigo sat at his desk and waited for classes to resume, he didn't turn away from the window when he heard Uryuu, Chad, Orihime, Rukia and Renji enter the class. Rukia and Renji had returned the day before under orders, they had been sent to observe Ichigo after it had been reported that he had begun to withdraw from his friends when he should've been acting as if nothing happened.

Rukia stepped through the classroom door and imediately zero'ed in on the spot of orange near the window, she grabbed Renji's sleave and was about to step in Ichigo's direction to introduce herself when a hand on her shoulder stopped her.

"Ishida?" asked Rukia puzzled.

"He's not the same man he was, Rukia. He's changed, he barely speaks to us anymore." warned Ishida, "Remember, he doesn't know who you are anymore."

Rukia smirked,"Relax Ishida. He might not know us anymore, but I always knew how to get him out of a slump, he just needs a good kick to get him going again." And with that, Rukia spun on her heel and dragged Renji towards the figure sitting by himself at the far end of the class.

Rukia stopped next to Ichigo's desk and tapped him on the shoulder, "Hi there! My n-" The words died on her tongue as Ichigo turned to look at her. Dull, lifeless brown eyes met deep violet ones, his face was almost unnoticably pinched, his scowl was now more like a grimace and his usually healthy tanned skin was now pale with dark circles under his eyes. Rukia gasped and Renji- "Holy shit! Dude, you look terrible!" Rukia was too shocked to even scold Renji. Ichigo seemed to focus on them and the look of pure hatred and madness that flashed through his eyes made her take a step back, even Renji seemed to notice that something was off. But as quickly as it came, it left, leaving Ichigo's eyes empty once again. No emotions passed his face after that brief moment as he continued to stare at them, after what seemed like hours, Ichigo turned away and resumed staring out of the window without saying a word, effectively dismissing both Renji and Rukia.

After retreating back to the others, Ishida asked,"Well? How did it go?"

"We need to talk to Urahara," said Rukia, "Tonight"


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Heya! I just wanna say THANK YOU! to my very first anonymous reviewer! I will try to make the chapters longer, I really appreciate any advice readers can give to make my stories better! Oh yes! Forgot to say that I don't own Bleach or any of it's characters in Chapter 1, this applies to all other chapters onwards.**

A cool autumn breeze swept through the empty streets of downtown Karakura, sweeping with it the greasy smells of takeout stalls and cafe's, the only sounds to be heard were the distant traffic, the rustling of far away trees and footsteps that echoed through cement alleys. Rukia looked up at the full moon and remembered the first time she had met Ichigo Kurosaki, it was on a night quite similar to this one.

She remembered how determined he was, how he desperately he wanted the power to protect his family, so much so that he was willing to sacrifice his own life in order in ensure their safety. Rukia paused, _And we were the ones to take it all away, _she thought regretfully. She glanced over her shoulder at the group of people that were walking behind her, Uryu seemed to be lost in his own world, barely paying attention to his surroundings and Orihime was constantly teary eyed, her bubbly personality nowhere to be seen. Chad was as silent as ever but Rukia noticed the tenseness in his shoulders and the clenched fists at his sides, she knew that he would be worrying the most, his long time friend and the person he swore to fight alongside, no longer wanted anything to do with him and there was nothing Chad could do about it. Rukia sighed sadly and turned her deep violet gaze towards her long time friend, Renji, his tattoo'ed face was uncharacteristicly emotionless, only his eyes and the white knuckled grip on Zabimaru gave away his concern for his sparring partner and friend. When Renji's maroon eyes met her violet ones, she gave him a weak smile and then turned her attention back to their destination: Urahara's candy shop.

The group rounded the last corner and were greeted with sight of Urahara's store front, brightly lit from the inside despite the sign on the door reading "closed". Rukia stepped forward and knocked on the door with the back of her knuckles, the sound echoed throughout the abandoned neighborhood, "Urahara, we need to talk. It's about Ichigo!", she yelled. Not even five seconds later did the aged looking door slide open to reveal the hat 'n clogs wearing shopkeeper, smiling broadly he whipped out his fan and stepped aside to allow the group to enter, "Well isn't this a surprise! Come in, I see the gang is all here... well, except Ichigo of course," Once the group had settled around a low table in the private section of the shop, Tessai entered and served them tea after which Urahara asked,"So, what brings you to my humble shop? If I'm not mistaken, Mr Afro is the Soul Reaper assigned to Karakura, so why are you and Renji here, Rukia?" Everyone turned to said Soul Reaper. Rukia gingerly sipped her tea before answering,"The survailence team that was ordered to observe Ichigo-" she was interrupted by outraged gasps from Ichigo's friends,"How dare you! You've already taken his powers, you have no right to take his privacy as well!" raged Uryu, "You people have done enough, you should leave Ichigo alone instead of treating him like a rabid dog that could attack at any time. He's harmless now, thanks to you." Urahara sighed,"Calm down Uryu, perhaps we should hear what Rukia has to say before we point fingers. Continue Rukia." Rukia bowed her head in thanks, "As I was saying, the survailence team that was ordered to observe Ichigo started reporting that his behavior had begun to change and that he had been withdrawing from his friends, we thought this rather odd for Ichigo so, Renji and I were sent to confirm these changes and determine whether or not they were caused by the seal placed on Ichigo. By all rights,there should be no side effects but as Renji and I witnessed today, Ichigo has changed drasticly, far too drasticly to be caused by anything else except the seal... and there is something else..." Orihime whimpered,"S-something else? There's something else wrong with Ichigo?" Rukia seemed to be thinking about something, her eyes were unfocused as if she were remembering something,"Well!?" shouted Uryu. "When I went to greet him today, he shouldn't have remembered me or Renji, his memories should have been sealed along with his power but when he looked at me...,"Rukia shuddered, "I saw such hatred and... and recognition, not vague recognition, he_ knew _me, he _remembered _me and that should'nt be possible."

Everyone stared at Rukia until a chuckle brought their attention to the sandy haired shopkeeper,"What's so funny?"asked Renji. "I _warned_ Central 46 that treating the boy as a threat was a mistake, I _warned_ them that sealing powers of that magnitude was not a good idea but no one ever listens to little old me," Urahara flipped open his fan and sighed, " Rukia, Renji, you were part of the team that apprehended Ichigo?" Both bowed their heads in shame," Yes, they thought that if it was his friends that arrested him, he would come quietly." Urahara hummed,"I see... You were ordered to do so or face execution or exile , yes?" Renji grit his teeth," Yeah, the bastards. They didn't give anyone one a choice."

No one could see the deadly seriousness behind the fan that fluttered in front of Urahara's face, _I hope you are hearing this... Ichigo._

"...didn't give anyone a choice."

A pair of golden brown eyes narrowed in rage and for a split second they flashed silvery-white before fading again. _No choice huh? _Ichigo stared at the wall in front of him, he could hear their entire conversation as he sat leaning against the concrete wall behind the shop, his right knee pulled up with his right arm resting on it. He turned his gaze towards the black cat that sat next to him, watching him with it's golden eyes. "This is why you brought me here, Yoruichi?" asked Ichigo. The cat nodded,"Urahara told me to bring you here so that you could perhaps find out why they did what they did. He suspected that they were forced to do what they did, you should understand, Ichigo, that you are not bound to the laws of the Soul Society as they are and as you just heard, they were threatened with death or exile, both are extremely unpleasant. You should know Ichigo, you've died twice already." Ichigo shut his eyes as memories asaulted him, he remembered both deaths and the person responsible: _Ulquiorra_. He instinctively reached for his chest and felt the faded but permanent, circular scar in the centre of his chest, he felt the power inside him stir dangerously at the memory and clutched harder at his chest as a sharp spike of pain shot through his body.

Yuroichi watched as Ichigo bent over while holding his chest as he shook uncontrollably,"Have the attacks been getting worse?" He grunted his affirmative as he desperately tried to regain control of his body. Blood began to trickle from his nose, dripping off his cheek and onto the dirt floor. Yoruichi's eyes widened as she watched the blood sizzle after hitting the ground, it seemed to blacken before completely disappearing, she turned her shocked gaze to Ichigo who had managed to recover from his attack and was now wiping the blood from his face. "Ichigo, what was that just now?"asked Yoruichi. Ichigo hissed in pain as the blood that he had wiped on his hand sizzled and disappeared, leaving a red, raw wound in its place. He gave a bitter chuckle," According to Urahara, my sealed power is starting to affect my body, it can't contain the pressure that is starting to build up." Yoruichi stepped closer to examine Ichigo's hand, "When did your blood start doing that? Does Urahara know about this?" Ichigo glanced at the hand in question and winced, "No, this is new. But I suppose it makes sense now that I think about it, every time I have a seizure it feels like someone's stabbing me in the heart with a red hot poker over and over again and the feeling just spreads further the longer the seizure, like my blood is on fire," he clenched his fist and watched as the wound disappeared, " But it seems like I regenerate just as quickly, so whatever damage is caused internally won't kill me... ever."

Ichigo stood up and started to walk away but stopped and spoke over his shoulder, "Tell Urahara that it's ok, he can tell them."

Yoruichi stared after his retreating figure, she was about to enter the shop before something Ichigo said made her freeze,"_won't kill me...ever."_

_What did he-._

Yoruichi's yellow eyes widened in realization. She dashed into the shop, shape shifting as she went, grabbing and putting on a robe before she headed towards the end of the hallway. Reaching the room where the others were gathered, Yoruichi slammed the door open and imediately zeroed her gaze onto the blond haired store owner.

"We need to talk."

**A/N: OMG! I'm so sorry for being this late updating my story! Gomenasai! School has been pretty hectic so please be patient with me, I will try to update as soon as possible.**

**Notes: In case some of you are confused about Ichigo's memories and etc... I will explain a few things:**

**1. Ichigo does have all his memories, the seal was too weak to contain both his powers and memories so he remembers everything.**

**2. Urahara knows that Ichigo still has his memories (Ichigo told him).**

**3. No one, besides Yoruichi and Urahara, knows that Ichigo still has his memories.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hey guys! Thanks soooo much for your awesome reviews! If you have questions, feel free to ask. You've probably noticed that I don't have a cover for this story so if any of you feel inspired to make one, go ahead!**

"We need to talk."

Urahara's eyes were concealed by his ragged blond bangs, seemingly unaffected while both shinigami and Ichigo's friends jumped at Yoruichi's loud and unexpected arrival. She ignored the questions directed at her and her appearance and made her way straight to the silent shopkeeper.

"Can I have a word with you, Kisuke?" The dangerously low tone of Yoruichi's voice caused Urahara to visably stiffen, he opened his fan and turned to regard the mocha skinned woman dressed in a white bath robe.

"Ah, Yoruichi. What did he say?" Said woman narrowed her eyes at the blatent dodging of her question but the warning look that Kisuke directed at her quickly stopped her from persuing any further questioning. "Well?"

Yoruichi folded her lean arms and sighed in irritation, "He said yes, you can tell them." She huffed before seating herself against the wall, glaring at Urahara the whole way.

"Who said?" asked Rukia, her violet eyes narrowed in suspicion, she turned from staring at Yoruichi to looking at Urahara. Said shopkeeper sighed and prepared himself for the outbursts he was bound to get from the group of people infront of him once he revealed what he knew.

"As you may already suspect, Ichigo has managed to retain all of his memories-"

"What?!" Rukia rose to her feet, her eyes wide and her body tense, "Are you saying that Ichigo remembers what we did to him? What he is and what he has done!? But that mea-"

Urahara's raised hand silenced the furious shinigami before him, he observed that Ishida and the other humans simply sat in a tense state of shock while Renji audibly ground his teeth. Urahara knew that what he was about to tell them would come as an even greater shock but he knew that if Ichigo was to make it through this ordeal with his sanity intact, he would need the help and support of his friends.

"Unfortunately, there is more. The seal placed on Ichigo did indeed manage to contain his powers and prevent him from using them but whoever ordered this to be done obviously did not take into account the nature of Ichigo's powers." Ishida narrowed his eyes,"What are you saying Urahara? Get to the point."

"Very well. Ichigo's powers do not stop flowing ... ever. Most shinigami's spiritual pressure, once depleted, will restore itself to its original level, almost like a reset button, but because of Ichigo's inability to control his spiritual pressure, no such button exists for him. His spiritual pressure continues to build and because it can no longer leak from him uncontrollably, it is starting to damage his body because it can no longer handle that extreme amount of power," Urahara paused and surveyed the faces around him, all in various states of horror. " This means that his powers are slowly poisoning his body, breaking it down from the inside but... for some reason that I have yet to discover,his hollow regenerating abilities are still active and repair the damage to a point where he can still survive but it still causes him an imense amount of pain regardless."

The silence that greeted Urahara was thick with the wild emotions emitted from the people before him. He glanced at Yoruichi, she sat with her legs folded and her arms crossed, a small frown on her face showing her displeasure at hearing this news.

Renji seemed to snap out of his daze first, he looked at the shopkeeper his eyes burning, "What can we do?"

Urahara dipped his head, his face hidden in shadow, _That's just it... I don't know if we can do anything at all._

A thick fog surrounded him, he could barely see his hand infront of his face, the dampness chilled Ichigo to the bone, the cloying mist seemed to drag him in circles and he was having trouble walking without tripping on the pieces of rubble and debris around him. As Ichigo continued on, the ominous fog seemed to thin, allowing him see his surroundings a little better. What Ichigo saw stopped him in his tracks, an ice cold dread settled in his stomach as he took in the ruins of numerous skyscrapers around him.

What happened here? Where am I?

The further Ichigo ventured, the thinner the fog became and eventually it lifted completely, _Wait! This... this is... _Ichigo sank to his knees as he realised where he was, the once tall buildings of his inner world that proudly reached for the sky now lay in ruins at his feet, not a single one was left standing. _How did this happen!? Where are Zangetsu and the Hollow!? _Ichigo now spun in frantic circles trying to see any sign of the residents of his inner world... he found none, what he did find was an ominous shadow that seemed to have consumed one side of his inner world and as Ichigo watched, it seemed to slowly creep closer, engulfing more of the ruined buildings.

Ichigo stood strangely transfixed by it and eventually it stopped roughly five metres from where he stood. He could see a vague shadowy figure in its depths.

"Zangetsu? Hollow? Is that you?" Ichigo waited for an answer but the figure remained silent almost as if it was just watching him, "Damn you! Answer me!" Ichigo began to take an defensive position but the appearance of two glowing white eyes froze him in place.

**"Do not fear Ichigo Kurosaki, I mean you no harm."**

The figure seemed to float closer, Ichigo took an involuntary step back as dark tendrils reached out to wrap around his legs.

"Who are you and where are Zangetsu and my Hollow?" Ichigo tried to put as much menace into his voice as possible but failed miserably, the past days fits had left him fatigued, his voice hoarse from screaming. The figure tilted its head to the side as if contemplating Ichigo's questions.

**"Both are simple enough questons to answer but for now I will only answer your second...They are both within me, residing in my shadows to escape the torture of the seal placed on you."**

"What!?" Ichigo peered past the figure, trying to see deeper into the shadows that lurked there for any sign of them but found none. "I don't see them anywhere."

The figure chuckled, the sound put Ichigo oddly at ease. **"No young one, they reside here." **The figure lifted a shadowy hand and placed it on his chest, over his heart.

Ichigo frowned, "I don't understand." The figure beckoned him closer, Ichigo stepped forward reluctantly until he was within arms reach.

**"I shall show you."**

He placed a hand on Ichigo's chest. When Ichigo blinked, he found himself standing infront of both Zangetsu and his Hollow. Ichigo sagged with relief and was about to ask the two of them what had happened when Zangetsu interrupted him.

"_Ichigo, I beg of you to take the deal this person will offer you. If you do, we can be reunited and you will be able to use your powers again. Do not worry about the state of your inner world, the damage caused by the seal can be mended again but only if you accept-_"

Ichigo blinked and was back before the figure again. He couldn't help the feelings of abandonment and disapointment that flooded his soul.

**"I apologize, I can only keep you in there for a short time and your time in this world also draws to an end so I will get straight to the poin-"**

"I accept!" Ichigo couldn't keep the near hysterical tone from his voice.

"**I have yet to tell you what this deal entails, are you sure you want to accept without knowing the details?**"

Ichigo didn't hesitate,"Yes! If it means that I'll get Zangetsu back and the pain will go away, then YES! I'll do anything to get rid of this pain, this feeling of emptiness, I'll do anything..." Ichigo shivered with excitement at the prospect of having his powers returned to him, of having his life go back to normal.

**"No, I will tell you what will be required of you should you accept, only then will I accept your final answer."**

"But-"

**"No! You will listen! I will not have you regret this decision later."**

Ichigo sighed,"Fine, I'll listen but I doubt anything you say will make me change my mind."

"**Very well then, I shall now answer your first question." **The figure paused.

**"My name... is Hell."**


End file.
